ITT : Advice

but eh ANSWER BITCH!!!!11

FunkyRawr wrote:

but eh ANSWER BITCH!!!!11

Hazel wrote:

You might, but when you do it won't be worth the effort. It never is.

.

Hazel wrote:

You might, but when you do it won't be worth the effort. It never is.

QFT

I disagree, petty love shit, that is true.

But like more serious relationships and love, thats worth something? Otherwise marriage wouldnt be so popular and gays wouldnt be banned from it :<

Lol no. Gays are banned from it because of the traditional Christian idea of what marriage is: a man and a woman. People are sheep that follow outdated religious ideas and so we have problems like that today. (I have a serious beef with Christians, btw)

Funky, I can tell you more about what love is than you may ever know for yourself, and I can tell you that it is absolutely not worth it.

Lonely? That's what friends are for, and that's all you really ever need.

I thought it was more Catholics who are against it? also against contraception and other bright ideas.

I don't see how you can know all about love if you haven't experienced it or thought you experienced it at some time.

You can know alot, especially in theory but until you experience something firsthand or something similar, you can be no expert.

Advice on love, which I can give because I'm old and have (some) grey hairs.

The three stages of love:

Infatuation
Love
Acceptance

The first one is fun and agony, and so easy to find. If it is reciprocated, then it's great fun, overwhelming.

The second stage is a wonderful glow. It doesn't last; scientifically, only about 2 years at the most.

The third stage shifts and blends with the second. If you don't get and give acceptance, then the relationship is over. Try staying together and it is like two people shoving their body parts into a mincer. Only more painful.

It's pretty hard to get to the third stage, and that's why so many people move on after a while.

However, no matter how acrimonious a split up becomes, it is very important to remember the good times. Remember them, because they still happened, they were good. No matter how crappy things become, how much you hate the person (who you would have died for, once), remember the good times.

Hmm thats very true.

Makes love sound dumb, undefinable and elusive I guess e.e

What makes you think I haven't experienced it? I have, and don't give me any shit about being single- love does not have to be reciprocated to be real.

Quote :

The second stage is a wonderful glow. It doesn't last; scientifically, only about 2 years at the most.

Truth.

Harushionu wrote:

What makes you think I haven't experienced it? I have, and don't give me any shit about being single- love does not have to be reciprocated to be real.

Quote :

The second stage is a wonderful glow. It doesn't last; scientifically, only about 2 years at the most.

Truth.

So you had one failure and now you decide to throw all of that away?

I had not so serious relationships, and well all is fun and great, but when you realize it's not worth it, it's time to split up. And yes, it'll hurt, but you won't be banned from loving someone.. That is just... wrong... really wrong...

Even the last one crushed me, but hey, I'm still alive, I still like girls, and I won't give away love just because i was "destroyed" once...

Harushionu wrote:

Lonely? That's what friends are for, and that's all you really ever need.

I'm pretty sure that is what love is supposed to be (an intimate friendship), in terms of a "partner".

Am I wrong?

Nancy you are putting words in my mouth

Quite simply: it's not worth the time, the money, or the effort. It's not worth the time you throw away, or the sacrifices you make. I would much rather live for myself than for anyone else, EVER. I have my own dreams and my own goals and I will not let something so useless like a relationship get in my way. To me, there is absolutely no point to "love" or relationships.

The only reason everyone thinks that love is the only way to go is because that is what has been force-fed to you since you were an infant. At a young age we are asked "who do you want to marry when you grow up?" over and over. As we get into junior high and high school we are exposed to couples all over the place. These type of things has led people to believe that there is no other option. Can you think of one time you were ever told to live for yourself? Probably not.

Time and again my parents ask me who I like, or if I am ever hit on and such. Time and again, I say I want no part of it, and time and again I get an insincere "Oh, that's OK"

I, for one, want no part of it. I will not live the pre-programmed, robotic life that most people choose for themselves. My generation is one that has been brought up to be an "effective member of the team." Well you know what? Screw the team, I will play, and win, my own game.

Harushionu wrote:

Nancy you are putting words in my mouth

lol?

Harushionu wrote:

Nancy you are putting words in my mouth
Quite simply: it's not worth the time, the money, or the effort. It's not worth the time you throw away, or the sacrifices you make. I would much rather live for myself than for anyone else, EVER. I have my own dreams and my own goals and I will not let something so useless like a relationship get in my way. To me, there is absolutely no point to "love" or relationships.

So you'll spend your life lonely, watching your friends falling in love, getting married, having children, while you are all alone, and all by yourself?

I don't want to sound cheesy, but god.. Haven't you ever felt anything for someone? And haven't you ever wanted to be with him/her? Whether it can be possible or not... I'm not talking about platonic love, but distances etc...

I decided to live high school without worrying about others, because I've learned that is really hard to have fun with your friends while having a relationship. Yes, I learned the hard way, but so what, I'm happy now. Love can wait til college... or whenever my hormones win.

Quote :

Haven't you ever felt anything for someone? And haven't you ever wanted to be with him/her? Whether it can be possible or not... I'm not talking about platonic love, but distances etc...

Yes, I have, and the only thing it did was hinder me. It hurt like you have no idea, and ultimately destroyed the friendship I had with him. I would much rather keep my distance and express my feelings in the way I do best - drawing.

My friends can live how they want, but I will not follow along. It really doesn't matter what I feel for people, I will never act on those feelings. It would never get me anywhere.

Im sure eventually they'll have drugs to make you love and be attracted to a certain person.
Then they just couple everyone and grow the population.

Afterall, everything is controlled by the brain, including love, the heart is a muscle.
So we will eventually end up molesting the brain as we do everything else.

That embed won't even load .-.

If it was hindering you, perhaps that wasn't the healthiest of relationships...
(no offense intended)

I've been in a pretty serious relationship for a while, and it makes me happy. Sure, you have to make sacrifices, but you shouldn't have to change who you are or what goals you have.
Every sacrifice I have had to make in my relationship has been something small (though it may seem big at the time) and ultimately hasn't made much of an impact on my life.
A "love" relationship should be supportive of your dreams, not make you leave them behind or even make adjustments to them.

Quote :

Sure, you have to make sacrifices, but you shouldn't have to change who you are or what goals you have.

I thought by now I had made this clear: my goals include staying AWAY from relationships. I honestly, genuinely DO NOT WANT ONE. I know that may be nigh impossible to fathom in this day and age, but try.